Immediate response…

…to the experience in my viva.

I am feeling:

relieved – I handled it and though it was challenging and probing there was nothing that simply bamboozled me.

supported – I least I know I should be doing this level of research and giving it my best shot.

stunned – that some of the things I’d been thinking they were thinking too, including my concerns that the number of accounts wouldn’t be enough.

shattered – I think a year’s worth of energy has just expended itself mentally into that single event.

removed – from my job, coming back to my day job and engaging with it feels completely out of place with what I’ve just done.

disappointed – I didn’t get to trot out all this stuff that I now know about hermeneutics.

revved – up, to proceed and finish this thing that I love and loathe in varying measures.

excited – about engaging in all the literature on EDs and masculinity I’ve got awaiting me .

convinced – that postpositivist interpretive approaches are not alive and well as, as many texts claim to embrace this, many at-the-coal-face researchers choose to not embrace the lack of specificity, non-existence of predetermined steps and instead do, indeed, go on to fetishise method (Prasad 2002).

justified – in taking the gamble with my thesis overview which was exceedingly loose and explanatory and not at all like a regular one they might expect.

challenged – let it never be said that the academics at Bradford do not protect the academic integrity of the their qualifications – I certainly found it probing, thought-provoking and meaningful – there was nothing easy or foregone about it.

humbled – a timely reminder of what it is to be a student, whatever the level and to, literally, feel the value of knowing what I’m talking about because I have spent the time learning it – not picking it down off the shelf like a product or commodity.